Apparently the FTC doesn’t think you’re smart enough to know that affiliate links on a website might be there to help the website earn a little income. Apparently I have to spell it out, so… we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases made through links on our website. Continue on to read our full disclosure and maybe even laugh a little…

Disclaimers are too awesome, right? All the legalese and the ‘wherefores’ and the ‘whyizzits’ and such. Apparently the FTC doesn’t think you’re smart enough to know that ads and affiliate links on a website might be there to help the website earn a little income. Apparently I have to spell it out and place all these distracting disclaimers all over the site to distract you from the actual content. So without further ado…

Here is our disclaimer:

Oh, but wait, there’s more… You also have the right to know that if we don’t KNOW, LIKE and TRUST a specific product or service, simply getting paid will not cause us to use or recommend it. Because when we were younger we both were gifted a thing called ‘integrity’ so we won’t be anyone’s shills.

So, here, without further ado, embellishment, obfuscation or delay, here is our disclaimer, really:

Whereas, we, the creators, owners, writers and/or shepherds of this random assortment of electrons masquerading as a website – previously, currently and futurishly (??) found on the interwebz of doom at TheMobileRetiree.com – are endeavoring to attempt to try and provide useful information. Or, at the very least, entertaining information.

Whereas, like most humans, we prefer ‘compensated efforts’ to the ‘non-compensated efforts’, let it hereby be known then henceforth that, we, therefore, have some opportunities for the afore mentioned compensation embedded in our writings, or on the pages wherein our writings are presented.

Let it be know, from this day forward that these ‘compensated efforts’ may (are?) hereby known as “Affiliate Marketing Links”…. although they may also be known as “Sponsored Product Placements” or simply “Embedded Ads”, or “Ads”…. or… referred to by whichever term happens to fall out of my keyboard and you should just assume (presume?) that they are used interchangeably because, despite all evidence to the contrary, I am, in actual point of fact, a lazy writer.)

Wherefore and hereinafter, you should therefore assume (presume? I’m never sure which to use), that if you see us use a specific product or service or hear us mention a specific product, or service, there is a potential that we are somehow being compensated to either use or mention said product or service. (If not, there’s a good chance that we’re trying to figure out HOW to get compensated, LOL).

Having said that, you should know that getting paid to use a product will not cause us to recommend it, because…. Integrity.

Also, because we like trying new products and services, there is a better than non-zero probability that we will find a product or service that we like better at some point and will then probably make have to make a post to let you know what happened to cause the change in attitude.

Okay, having driven that point firmly into the ground, “Affiliate Marketing Link” may sound impressive but really it just means that if you click one of our links and make a purchase through said link there is better-than-zero chance that the person or entity you paid for the product or service will then divert a miniscule portion of their ginormous profit over to us in the form a ‘commission’ or ‘referral fee’. They don’t actually charge you the customer any extra so the ActualReality™ is that they would probably prefer you go directly to their site so they don’t have to give us the $0.04 or whatever. What they are afraid of, though, is that if you hadn’t seen us use the product, or heard us recommend checking it out, that you wouldn’t have discovered them at all which means that we are, in a very real and legally binding sense, the ‘procuring cause’ of that sale.

And here’s the thing about that – because they have already factored in the cost of marketing aka ‘Affiliate Marketing Links’ and ‘Advertisements’ into their COGS calculation (that’s Cost of Goods Sold for the non-business majors) you won’t be paying any extra for the product. So, if you don’t buy through our link, not only do we miss out on some pocket change (which would be tragic, for us), but if you were to say purchase that goods or services by clicking on a link though one of the popular search engines (think google, duckduckgo or yahoo), you still pay the same amount. I mean, seriously, following that to its logical conclusion, you should be thanking us for preventing runaway corporate profiteering. You’re welcome. And I mean that in all potential interpretations – we acknowledge your gratitude and also we are happy to have you join us (vicariously, OBVIOUSLY) on our journey.

Having said THAT, if we happen to run into each other while we’re all out here doing the travel thing odds are high we’d like to grab a beverage with you and chat for a bit so, ya know, sing out if you see us.